yesterday was a long day.

during pe i sunk into severe depression mode. cos the class was playing the island game...and we had to get into groups of 3. i was the only person left alone. not that i was angry with regina and co. or wadever...it just occurred to me that this was so similar...just so similar...

i hardly talked for the rest of school...then during lunch i went to find her. when i got to her class only her bag was there. i could almost feel that she was hurt too. or maybe it was just my own hurt. a friend told me she had gone to talk with some people. i spent the whole lunch trying to search for her. and when i was in the canteen, something kept compelling me to look around that area. later i found out that all the while she was in the sick bay. i spent the whole time just walking around helplessly like a small lost kid. i felt like crying...something was lodged in my throat. only she would understand how i felt. i just ignored all the other dodos and kept walking...walking...i needed her advice...i felt like a small kid...looking for something that was lost...but fate would have it that i could not find her anywhere.

when i stepped into 3a2's classroom for hcl...i saw wan ling and she kept asking me wad happened. but i couldn't answer her. how could i tell her everything when i know she couldn't understand? i refused to talk...but later i became "happy" again. wad's the point in being moody when it will only cause the rest of the people to be unhappy?

sometimes i wonder how i go on. i can only concentrate when i force myself not to think of anything at all. like on fri during english...when amaris and co. started saying that milo made them crazy and ms low agreed...i just wanted to cry then and there. but i didn't. i just swallowed everything up. i wonder how many times one can do that until one bursts.

[i was searching for you.]
[but your form was shrouded in fog.]
[then again, so was mine.]

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